On Observing Lent
I’m probably doing this wrong. I wasn’t raised in a tradition that observed Lent. I had never even really heard much about it until a friend I’d met at a summer job in college asked what I was giving up for Lent.
“I’m giving up coffee,” she said.
“So it’s like a fast?” I asked.
“Sort of.”
She talked a bit more about it and then listed some things people usually give up.
“Um, ok, I’ll give up sweets,” I decided.
Giving up coffee was a huge sacrifice for my friend as she enjoyed large quantities of it daily. In fact, I’d been her secret pal at work one summer, and I got her the largest coffee thermos I could find as one of her gifts. She was elated: “Just what I needed!”
So now as post-college adults, I was so surprised she was giving up something so crucial to her everyday life, something she relished so much and that she almost needed.
I chose sweets on the spur of the moment, but as the first week went by I realized I hadn’t “done” Lent right. I don’t have a sweet tooth, so giving up sweets wasn’t a sacrifice for me. I didn’t relish them or need them, and I didn’t mind giving them up. That first Lent was easy for me because somehow I’d completely missed the point of it.
The next year, a coworker at a different job asked the rest of us what we were giving up for Lent.
“I’m giving up complaining,” she said.
I remember thinking that was such an interesting choice and I wondered if it was really possible to give up complaining for that long.
We good-naturedly teased her over the next week or two whenever something annoying or frustrating would happen: “You can’t complain!” She would smile and assure us, “I’m not.”
I haven’t observed Lent every year since that first year of making the non-sacrifice of giving up sweets. The years I did participate, I did better at choosing things that would truly be a challenge or a growth opportunity for me to give up, and I learned more about the spiritual reflection side of Lent over the years, too.
This year as Lent was approaching, my coworker’s choice to give up complaining kept running through my mind.
What would it be like to not complain, to not dwell on negative thoughts, feelings, or situations, to not spiral down into despair, to not even listen when the enemy begins whispering lies into my ear?
On further contemplation, I realized negative thought patterns had almost become a comfort to me in an odd way.
This situation isn’t working out the way I thought it would?
I wasn’t expecting it to work out anyway. Things never go the way I want them to.
Prayers aren’t being answered the way I hoped they would?
I must be doing something wrong. Why am I the only one with unanswered prayers?
Life at a standstill with no open doors in sight?
God must not really have a plan for me. Why am I the only one who has to wait?
When life doesn’t make sense, when God seems to be silent, when there’s no open door in sight, trying to make sense of it, trying to explain it, trying to make excuses for myself or for God provides a feeling of comfort, like I’m reassuring myself that life is supposed to be hard and not to get my hopes up for anything too good.
When I start thinking like that, spiraling down into complaining and negativity follows.
But what would it be like to not complain, to not dwell on the negative, to not “comfort” myself with the voice of doom: “This is always how it is for me. Nothing’s ever going to change.”?
What would it be like to swat away the complaint as soon as it flutters into my head? “Nope, none of that in here! I’ve acknowledged my frustration and disappointment and now I’m taking it to the Lord and leaving it there.”
What would it be like to not entertain the voice of doom and to shut down the lie that “nothing will ever change for me”?
What would it be like to thank God for His provision before He’s actually provided instead of begging Him to provide and then wrestling with doubt over whether or when He will?
What would it be like to praise Him more than I petition Him?
Suddenly, my coworker’s idea of giving up complaining didn’t seem so strange or impossible. Learning to acknowledge my areas of pain, frustration, or disappointment without dwelling in the pain, frustration, or disappointment doesn’t sound so strange for Lent after all.
I decided I had to find out for myself. So here I am, giving up something for Lent that may sound like an odd choice, and yet it’s something that’s already building so much hope within me.
“I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.”
- Psalm 27:13-14 (NIV)
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Hi! I'm Abigail, your real-talk Christian life coach and faith mentor. I believe we're on this earth for a reason, and I LOVE helping people realize and live that truth so that they can reach their God-given potential in all areas of life.
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