From time to time, I’ll catch myself feeling “behind” everyone else in almost every area of life.
I think it’s normal to feel this way sometimes as a child or teen. As a young child, I can remember seeing my friends start to lose their baby teeth and wondering why I wasn’t losing mine yet. Then as an older child watching some of my friends start middle school, I can remember wanting to be in middle school to do all the cool things middle schoolers do, and then a few years later I was wishing I was in high school, and then college.
While it can be normal to feel this way as a child or teen who’s eager to try new things or have new experiences in life, this feeling of being behind everyone else goes to a whole new level when we become adults, and it can leave us feeling like we’re missing out or that we’re not where we’re “supposed” to be.
For example, as an adult, I’ve often found myself thinking, “I should be at such-and-such place in my life. Why am I always behind? I’ve got to catch up with everyone else…”
When I get caught in this thought pattern, I feel behind, I feel late, I feel like I’ve wasted or lost time and there’s no way to get it back.
Don’t we all feel like that sometimes?
“I should be married by now…”
“I should have kids by now…”
“I should have my Master’s degree by now…”
“I should have been promoted at my job by now…”
“I should have a better house by now…”
“______ will never happen for me or it would’ve happened by now…”
Or my favorite:
“I should have life figured out by now…”
I’ve been faced with this thought pattern quite a few times over the past couple of years as I’ve been in a season of transition and waiting on God.
Lately, the expression “late bloomer” has been rolling around in my thoughts, and it just so happens the passage I’ve been meditating on also refers to blooming:
“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
and they never stop producing fruit.”
-Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NLT)
Am I a late bloomer?
Is that why I feel “behind” sometimes?
How do I get to that point of having evergreen leaves and ever-ready fruit?
There’s a tiny moment from season two of The Chosen that hit me like a lightning bolt when I first saw it because it directly addressed my fears of being a late bloomer.
It’s when Matthew asks Philip for suggestions of Scripture passages to memorize:
Philip: “A passage to memorize?”
Matthew: “Anything that would get me started - to make up for lost time.”
Philip: “No, Matthew, you didn’t lose any time. It just got rearranged. You’re gaining it all back now.”
When Philip reassured Matthew, so kindly yet firmly, that he hadn’t lost any time, it had just been rearranged, I got a little teary-eyed because I desperately needed that reassurance in my own life - that I haven’t lost any time, that I’m not behind, that I’m just on a different time schedule in my life right now but I’ll be “gaining it all back” when the time is right for me to do so.
When I start to think of my time as being rearranged instead of lost, that puts a whole new perspective on the slower seasons of my life.
Viewing my time and seasons as being divinely rearranged according to a divine plan, I feel relieved, encouraged, and even hopeful and assured, and I can see how the slower seasons have been times of training and preparation for future seasons.
I think that’s why the phrase “late bloomer” is really clicking with me. All of the growing and preparation are necessary if I’m to bloom, and by the way, I really want to be one of those trees who aren’t bothered by the heat or worried by long seasons of drought. The trees whose leaves stay green and who never stop producing fruit. (See the Jeremiah passage above.)
There’s also a beautiful verse in Psalm 1 that describes the godly as trees:
“They are like trees planted along the riverbank,
bearing fruit each season.
Their leaves never wither,
and they prosper in all they do.”
-Psalm 1:3 (NLT)
Enduring Word Bible Commentary notes of this verse:
“The fruit comes naturally from this tree, because it is planted by the rivers of water. It is abiding in a life-source... Fruit also has a season. Some get discouraged when they begin to walk as righteous men, and fruit is not immediately evident. They need to wait until they bring forth fruit in its season.
‘There are no barren trees in God’s orchard, and yet they may have their fits of barrenness, as an apple tree sometimes hath; but they will reflourish with advantage.’ (Trapp)”
Abiding in my Life Source, bringing forth fruit in my season, reflourishing with advantage...
All of this brings me back to that scene from The Chosen. Here’s the rest of the exchange between Matthew and Philip after Philip reassures Matthew he hasn’t lost any time and that he’s gaining it all back now:
Matthew: “But in the meantime, I want to understand the same things you do and everyone else.”
Philip: “It doesn’t happen overnight.”
I relate so much to Matthew’s eagerness to catch up with “everyone else.” I understand the desire to be at the next level of spiritual growth where “everyone else” is.
And I need Philip’s reminder just as much as Matthew did:
“It doesn’t happen overnight.”
It takes time for roots to grow deep.
It takes time for branches to grow.
It takes time for leaves to appear.
It takes time for buds to emerge.
It takes time for fruit to develop.
It takes time for hard soil to be broken and dug up and for seeds to be planted.
It takes time for all the nurturing of the seeds, for the strengthening of the roots and branches.
It takes time for all the pruning that’s necessary for new growth and new life.
It takes time for a tree to be in full bloom and for fruit to fully ripen.
It takes time to reflourish after a season of barrenness.
Flourishing and thriving spiritually doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time. It takes continual, uninhibited abiding in Him, our Life Source.
And when a tree is not just fruitful, but abundantly fruitful, maybe it doesn’t even matter if it’s a “late bloomer.” Maybe the joy of the fruit and the beauty of the blossoms that have been produced by time, by the careful pruning of the Gardener, by the roots abiding deep in the soil they were lovingly and wisely planted in - maybe all of that removes the notion of a belated blooming because God has put everything together so beautifully, so perfectly, and so timely that it’s not a late blooming at all.
It’s just blooming.
It’s just bearing fruit.
And the joy and blessings that come from the seasons of blooming and fruit bearing far outweigh the painfully slow seasons of waiting and abiding as the roots grow deep enough to stay connected to the Life Source and the branches grow strong enough to sustain the blossoms and fruit.
If we’re abiding in Him, we’re not behind.
If we’re planted in His soil, we’re not lost.
If we’re cooperating with His pruning, we’re not wasting time.
If we’re waiting on His timing, we’re not late.
We’re right where we’re supposed to be, doing what we’re supposed to be doing, and when it’s Bloom Time, we won’t even think about being “late” anymore.
We’ll just be blooming.
“Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better.” - Colossians 1:10 (NLT)
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Hi! I'm Abigail, your real-talk Christian life coach and faith mentor. I believe we're on this earth for a reason, and I LOVE helping people realize and live that truth so that they can reach their God-given potential in all areas of life.
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